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The Sieve And The Sand

by Run With The Hunted

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1.
I watched the sun rise I saw myself die I left the questions behind To drift away like grains of sand Carried away in the hands of time It all slips through your fingers anyways so Let someone else make sense of it all When I look back on who I was I see a fool Giving too much of myself to someone who didn’t care Shouldering the weight of someone else’s pain Living in the shadow of a mountain without a name Look to the sky, wondering why I left the joy in life behind me I had to lose you, to find me I had to choose you, to lose me I had to lose you, to be happy I’ll think of you every time it starts to rain Watch the heavy grey clouds return Remind myself of every painful lesson learned Your memory is a tomb I left my youth inside And I believe my best days are behind me The love I’ve lost will never find me
2.
Wrap your arms around your pain And tell me how it feels To hold onto the only thing That will never leave you Give yourself to a world Indifferent to your plans Expose your soul for all to see And keep a steady hand Wish I could try letting go Still I hold tight and I know When the sting of separation Lingers long enough You learn to hide the pain it brings To keep from giving up Just say “I do” and I promise to Let this emptiness consume me Close your eyes and try to see That truth is blind to reason Rest your bones where you lay your head In the places where you’ll need them Look inside and you’ll surely find Broken dreams and the sweetest lines Left out to rust and yet I must Insist on feigning love Wish I could try letting go Still I hold tight and I know When the sting of separation Lingers long enough You learn to hide the pain it brings To keep from giving up We are condemned to freedom Loneliness is the human condition Where should I look for answers? Love is a sickness Lust is a cancer Watching friends becoming lovers Holding hands, making plans I’m on the outside looking in
3.
I am the son of a bitter man Grasping at hope with a broken hand I am the end of the family line Defiant and mortal, I will carry this blood With me into the shadows of time To the ends of the earth Over the edge of the known Oblivion never felt as good As living alone Despoiled despot of a forgotten throne Destined to die, waiting to try I am not. An empty vessel. Stock to breed. The prodigal son of an everlasting plant to seed I can not. I will not. I am not. Immortal.
4.
Red Queen 03:44
We could be so much more Than the sum of our failures We could be so much more Than a divided room searching for something more We could be so much more If we had something worth fighting for We could be so much more I tried to find the words to speak for a generation With too many voices and nothing to say We all live in the illusion that we have choices We only have what they haven’t taken away I tried to find the courage To live another way I tried to find the strength to walk the path they tried to hide But my heart always knew the way We were supposed to be different Thought we had that in common Empty minds for simple times Sing simple songs for even emptier minds We could be so much more Than the sum of our failures We could be so much more Than a divided room searching for something more And I have to wonder How could you come so close But choose to stay behind? How could you glimpse the truth But prefer to stay blind? What kind of cowardice Does it take to know what needs to be done But refuse to have a stake In being a part of something That could have been Should have been everything we are not We were supposed to be different Thought we had that in common Empty minds for simple times Sing simple songs for even emptier minds The weight of an empty promise Clasped inside of a clenched hand The shame of so much wasted potential Settling for less, I will never understand We could be so much more Reach beyond what you can see Distracted youth, so easily amused Scared of the truth, complacent and abused Content to be perfectly ordinary You can fall short but I refuse
5.
Mea Culpa 02:52
If I had one ounce of strength left I’d use it to fight But this time is different I need to run and hide Into the dark, away from the light Where I can go to blur the lines Between what is wrong and what is right So much lost, so little gained So much joy has turned to pain I’m looking for a hand to hold A warm body to thaw my freezing soul Like rain weathering stone, soon I’ll be nothing more Than the shell of a man, dying alone So much lost, so little gained So much joy has turned to pain If I had the hope to heal I’d take your pain and bear it If I had the will to try I’d be the first to wear it But this world has broken me Scatter my ashes above the trees This world has broken me. Remember me with every falling leaf This world has broken me. Forget me as rivers turn to streams This world has broken me. I was nothing more This world has broken me. Than a melancholy memory This world has broken me. So much lost so little gained So much joy has turned to pain Watched my pride turn to shame Tried to hold onto a moment So things might stay the same
6.
St. David 05:10
I remember summers in St. David Warm air kissed by the sun Breathing life into a world Long since forgotten Because you left your fields to wither and die Withheld your love for a lifetime You left us to rot in the garden you planted Sowed the seeds of your own destruction In a field of unending depression Nurtured by an obsession With a son who never cared And a daughter left with the pain Of your rejection Too much for any flower to bear An only grandson forgotten A blossoming apple too rotten To bear fruit for you to taste To plant roots in your waste I fell far from the tree That you nursed with your hands Because all of the branches Were cursed on your land When the last leaves fall to the ground And your memory is nothing more than a distant sound An echo without a wall A tree destined to fall In the woods Where no one will hear the sound Because I silenced them all A thousand nights spent wondering why I was so easy to leave behind Cut off from your love Like a weed growing in the shadows Of an abandoned building Inching towards the sun So I shared the pain you left us with A world destined to fall I screamed until my lungs gave out with A billion clenched fists pounding the walls Beating the trunk of a giant destined to fall And you fell And when a tree falls But no one is around to hear it Does it really make a sound? Can you hear it die if you’re near it? When you took your own life You left fuel for a fire that still burns inside me I haven’t forgiven and I haven’t forgotten I live in the ashes you left us to rot in I hope you found what you were looking for in death We’re still here, dying for an answer Your love was a cancer
7.
I spent a lifetime searching for a truth That I could call my very own Asked every question under the sun Turned over every leaf Looked under every stone Is there a common thread that holds us together? I pulled at what I could and only frayed the ends I held my greatest fears in my own two hands Never really knowing what it meant To lose. To choose.To refuse. Now I know This world is what we make it And I will make it without you I will take it so you don’t have to I will break it since I know how to Imagine a world made of sand No trees. No water. Not a single blade of grass Just an empty wasteland You could wander for years Barely getting closer to the end Or you could shut your eyes And scorn the things You simply fail to comprehend The only truth worth knowing comes from within The tighter you grip it The more it slips through your fingers A billion grains of sand You could wander for years Barely getting closer to the end Or you could shut your eyes And scorn the things You simply fail to comprehend But I refuse to break I will shoulder the weight Within my weakness, a newfound strength Because you can never take What was never yours: My mind is mine This is a quest for authenticity This is a rejection of complicity In a system that I never had a choice in Living a life I could never find a voice in No truth. Know Freedom Know truth. No delusions The only choice we ever really have Is what lies we are willing to accept And what truths we allow ourselves to see I have chosen a truth that includes the narratives Of those relegated to live beneath me In an exploitative hierarchical system That profits off the suffering of the defenseless I refuse to live with the ignorance of other’s suffering I refuse to ignore the consequences of my choices I refuse to admonish responsibility for the changes That I am capable of Reject power. Destroy hierarchy. Resist authority. True liberation comes from within We are everything we need The most you’ll ever need The best you can ever be Is an authentic human being True to yourself It’s like the sieve and the sand It’s slipping right through my hands What will it take for me to understand?

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released June 3, 2014

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